Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
