What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
