So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
