I cockslap morals
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So many bounce houses so little time
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
