I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
