Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
People in love make me want to vomit
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
