she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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