We're facebook friends in real life
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
