STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize