i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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