OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We need to get me chipped asap
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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