Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
