took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
