i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
