please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize