Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
