They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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