her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
