Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
