Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
