The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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