I like my sex mixed with concussions.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize