KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
