so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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