I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
