Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
These tits shall not be calmed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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