Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize