I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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