i was born a porn star she said
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
