So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
