who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
