getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
