did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize