Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
