YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize