OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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