So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He passed out mid-signature
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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