We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize