so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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