I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
