No awkward lesbian experiences without me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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