He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
