It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
