Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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