i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I will pee on everything he values.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
