Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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