We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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