Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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