i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
