Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am one with the molecules
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
