my sisters under your porch take her home
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
