remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
