so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
