You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
