I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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