Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
