We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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